Made with 100% Real PPC (How to make EASY money as a SEO consultant)
I was at McDonalds recently and noticed the writing on the bag: “Made with 100% Real Beef.” And then something to the effect of “And with a number like that, you can’t get any better.” Reminds of the breakfast cereals that are made “with” 100% real honey– meaning that they have a giant vat of cereal and high fructose corn syrup, and someone with a squeeze bottle squirts in a few drops of 100% real honey. After all, it’s made “with” 100% real honey, beef, leather, or whatever– as opposed to being made “of” that item.
Whether marketing and advertising are just different shades of lying is a philosophical debate. But what’s not a question is the number of charlatans out there fleecing clients on PPC and SEO. This is not just run of the mill “we’ll get you to #1 in the search engines” kind of talk— these are professionals that charge insane rates. One our our clients is a major fast food chain that spends 6 figures a month with us on a full range of PPC, SEO, email, and webmastering. We partnered with an SEO company that in one of first meetings attempted to claim that he could at-will stop people from linking to the client’s site. When one of our guys asked how exactly this could be done (since I could just create a blog post and link to the site), he said that it was proprietary technology. After 2 1/2 months of keeping this guy on, with no improvement on rankings, we got rid of him– not before he attempted to ask for more fees, and also trumpeted the value of his RSS network, and 3 way linking strategy. His final gasp was to mention using Twitter as one of the keys to driving more leads for the client. It wasn’t a bad run for this guy, who makes a living getting first page rankings on no-traffic terms.
So if you want to make an easy living fleecing corporate clients, do this (I’m not kidding– this is so easy):
* Proclaim that you are an expert at SEO: create a local meetup group (with 2 other conspirators) and say that you founded the “SEO experts” group in your city. Join a few professional organizations, such as SEMPO (yes, they are legit). Put up a canned website with huge logos for Google, Yahoo, MSN, Verisign and other networks– saying that you are partners with them in advertising. List yourself in a few directories.
* Get a few clients: Word of mouth marketing is easy. You won’t be keeping clients very long, so make sure you have a steady inflow of new clients to replace the ones who find out they’re getting fleeced. Don’t have references? That’s okay– mention that your clients are confidential. After all, you wouldn’t want other clients to know about what we’re doing for you, right? In your initial client meeting, spend the whole time talking about 301 redirects and 200 status codes– sound ultra technical, especially if you can’t actually program. Don’t worry, the client doesn’t know how to program either, so your cover will hold.
* Create ranking reports: Using your proprietary technology (just pay for a subscription at seomoz.com or seobook, create a monthly ranking report on terms that you choose. The key is to choose terms that have no traffic and nobody else is competing for. Choose 4 and 5 word search phrases– go for “large, custom blue widget manufacturer Los Angeles”, not “widget” or “blue widget”. Claim that the longer terms are “higher relevance.” When the client asks for how long it will take to get results, say that nobody really knows the search algorithms except Google and Yahoo themselves– and that anyone who makes firm promises is a charlatan. This excuse will buy you lots of time.
* Set up a few wordpress sites: Using those search terms you listed, buy the domains. To flush out this snake oil peddler mentioned above, we ranked on franchise review site. Within a couple days, you’ll be on the first page of Google for that term– if not in position 1. If you’re sophisticated with programming, auto-generate a bunch of fake content by scraping other blogs. Or follow what bluehatseo.com has to say about this. Not needed— buying a few domains and putting up free wordpress templates is sufficient here.
* Proclaim victory!: Whew, it’s been a LOT of hard work, but look– we got a #1 ranking on these 5 terms. If you want to get more mileage out of it, do it with lots of fanfare and spread out the results over time. If you deliver these results right away, they’ll think it was easy. Go on vacation for a few weeks, then come back and proclaim victory. If there’s someone who’s smart about SEO in the client meeting, who asks questions about whether those terms have traffic, babble on about how you have to take a holistic approach to SEO and that many factors will affect rankings.
* Collect fees as long as you can: If you’re lucky, nobody will ask any questions. But if they do, be ready with these excellent comebacks:
o Why aren’t rankings on my main terms going up?: “Sometimes you take two steps forward and one step back”– fluctation in results is perfectly normal. Your site needs more unique content. We’re going against some strong competitors here, so it will take some time.
o But PPC seems to be driving traffic and leads, not SEO: PPC is a short-term solution that is bleeding you money. The real pro’s recognize that organic results are more trustworthy to users– and getting in naturally will save you money over time.
o I don’t understand what you’re doing– in fact, I don’t think you’re doing anything: There are many factors involved here that only trained professionals like myself will understand. I go to a lot of conferences to network with other people like me who don’t know anything either. We have a proprietary RSS network and series of blog sites– I’m sure you can understand why we don’t divulge trade secrets.
o I don’t see any more inbound links than when we started: Okay, the client must have talked to someone else, since they didn’t know what an inbound link was before. You know you don’t have much longer with this client. Throw a Hail Mary: “I don’t think we’ve been giving your account the proper level of service here. What I’d recommend is that we move you to a premium package at $Xk more per month, which will allow us to put more effort on your initiatives.” If they don’t go for that, try to talk about social media optimization and the power of online comunities, Web 2.0, twitter, and such. As a final effort to block this other firm that the client has been talking to, try to scare him with the risks of black hat SEO, that they could get banned FOREVER.
What’s sad is that this is pretty close to what has happened at a major client– the difference being that we actually put up the wordpress sites to reveal the trick. I know– it’s bad etiquette to expose the tricks that other magicians use. But someone is eventually going to realize that it’s a magic show and that the coin was behind your hand all along– and that there was a hidden compartment with a mirror hiding what was in that supposedly empty box. Well, in this case, the box actually was empty.
If you are an SEO who is making money doing what I’ve described above– kudos to you for living by your wits. But now it’s time to learn some real skills to place in your bag of tricks.
What’s crazy is that within a few minutes of your post here, this post is already ranking on “franchise review site” on Google. Tell me your secret sauce, SEO Master!
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=“franchise+review+site”
Comment by Dennis Yu — September 2, 2008 @ 11:35 pm
Excellent post. Expose the scam artists who put a bad taste in the mouths of potential good paying clients looking for quality web design/programming/seo.
Comment by Jay Tillery — September 2, 2008 @ 11:36 pm
You make it too hard kid. Just make a good website people like to visit, slap some adsense on it, and live the good life. You work too hard kid to make the money. Now go back to High School, GED’s = Loser!
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 12:29 am
Kid, you sound like someone on meth, It is not so hard!
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 12:31 am
My secret, Make a website folks like, put adsense on it, you make allot of money, that simple. You peckerwoods try to hard to game the system with bizarre shit.
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 12:34 am
Kid, you are a con artist too.
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 12:38 am
Most excellent post. Sadly, the get rich quick scammers out there are selling their own programs online and at places like the Warrier Forum to newbies showing you how to set up that local meeting to become the local expert and do the above described things. There was a program called Turbo Charged Consulting or something like that by 2 newcombers to the newbie internet mareketing scene, Rachel Rofe and her friend, somebody named Mintun, that made the rounds lately. Oh yeah, the big name marketers are writing this duo up for their off line “consulting” skills too. Check out some self proclaimed “guru” in social media, Andrew Wee and blog at “who is Andrew Wee” who gave Rachel Rofe an interview on his blog. (Nothing against these people otherwise, I’ve no interaction with them and don’t know them, just an observation.) What a joke. Sad…
Comment by moore — September 3, 2008 @ 12:39 am
DO NOT DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL. TAKE SOME ENGLISH CLASSES! YOU WRITE LIKE A 6th GRADER!
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 12:44 am
your an idiot man. I do goto school.
Comment by admin — September 3, 2008 @ 1:01 am
@Hey Kid:
CAN I HAZ CAPS LOCK DELETE?
Comment by Ricardo — September 3, 2008 @ 1:02 am
School is for weenies, make a company and do something cool!
Comment by Some Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 1:13 am
True, I am an idot who makes 7 figures a year. Who knows why, but thank you internet!
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 1:52 am
Hey kid, Wordpress offers a multitude of free templates/skins. Try one, this skin looks so noob. You tout yourself as the wiz kid, yet this blog design looks like the work of 3rd grader.
Comment by Hey Kid — September 3, 2008 @ 2:10 am
Hey Harrison, I think your doing great! keep up the good posts!, I enjoy reading them and hopefully someday I will understand all of this SEM stuff and be able to mingle with you and shoe!
-dave
Comment by dtadpole — September 3, 2008 @ 2:17 am
I have a friend doing something similar to this. Unfortunately, he really believes what he says. Perfect summary though Harrison
Comment by zL1n0x — September 3, 2008 @ 2:25 am
Harrison -
First time poster but I have been reading your site for along time. I think your site is great with a lot of helpful info. Keep up the great work!
Simac
Comment by simac — September 3, 2008 @ 8:50 am
Good post. Hilarious but so true.
Comment by Daehee — September 3, 2008 @ 9:07 am
Hmmm…this sounds suspiciously similar to my “SEO Supremacy” e-book that I released as a Warrior Forum WSO last month.
Comment by Monty's Mega Marketing — September 3, 2008 @ 10:35 am
Why would you deal with clients if you make boatloads from Affiliate stuff.Clients waste time… you can use that time to build huge affiliate campaigns, 100 times bigger then those those client’s budgets.
Comment by Monkey — September 3, 2008 @ 1:11 pm
Don’t want to be a hater, but come on… you supposedly make $xxx,xxx net/month and you’re too tight to drop $500 and have UBD design you a decent blog theme? How can you claim to know anything about marketing and yet you totally forget the “presentation” portion of your message. No wonder you catch so much flak for being a kid when your presentation is sooooooo elementary… another thing… consider dropping the ol’ “16 year old affiliate marketer” as part of your moniker… age means nothing anymore other than when your parents decide to start to let you do stuff. Not only that, but it certainly doesn’t lend to your credibility, and you get more flak from people not thinking you know what you’re doing because of your age, than you get respect for it. Let your content speak for itself… you’ve had some good posts in the last few days, but you preface it with this “16 year old” crap that ruins it…. you don’t need the ‘16 year old’ bullshit attached to it… All that matters in today’s world is your ability to gather and interpret information… that’s all that success is; gathering information, and doing something with it. It doesn’t matter if you’re 16 or 60. You’ll get more respect and the “wow” factor from people that come to respect your good content FIRST, and THEN find out that a 16 year old wrote it, rather than the opposite which is what you do currently; (i.e. plaster your age all over hell and back, and THEN push people to your content). Again, we’re talking presentation here, and it’s a fundamental rule of marketing that you, no offense, obviously are not understanding yet!! I think you could stand to have some marketing classes to teach you some basic business principles that could REALLY start to make you a credible influence in this industry.
Comment by Bob Dole — September 3, 2008 @ 1:43 pm
“Bob”,
I had a wordpress theme that was custom. Than I decided to have someone start on another theme. It’s been being worked on for like a month.
GIve it a few days.
Comment by admin — September 3, 2008 @ 1:45 pm
Sounds good admin.. that’s the first portion of your what I perceive to be a presentation problem on your end.
I’ll stay tuned for your theme.
Comment by Bob Dole — September 3, 2008 @ 1:55 pm
Great post.. A little confusing to understand but there is alot of money to be made as a SEO consultant. But from my understanding, it seems like these consultant are just ripping people off. Scam artist.
Comment by Jonathan — September 3, 2008 @ 2:13 pm
@Bob:
An UBD is thrown out money and not unique at all. Do Shoemoneys, Uber and other lose money online blogs look unique in any way? I dont think so.
Comment by Ricardo — September 3, 2008 @ 5:01 pm
Bro,
Whatever you do! Do not change the design of this blog! I’m telling you I don’t care if you turn 18 and you’re having dinner with Warren Buffet. Don’t make your blog look like ShitMoneys and GooberAffiliates!!!!
Comment by DontChangeIt — September 3, 2008 @ 6:48 pm
@Ricardo
Huh!? You said “@Bob” and then proceeded with a comment that had nothing to do with what I said. Who said he needed a UNIQUE design? That’s the last thing he wants. Getting a theme from Unique Blog Designs, and telling him to get a unique design are not even remotely the same.
Look.. I usually get $150/hour with 1 hour minimum for this kind of stuff, but I’m going to give you another freebie Ricardo. Everything you do on the web is marketing… EVERYTHING. You don’t go to UBD to get a unique theme, you go for marketing. There are two types of marketing… creating trends, and riding trends. You gotta have at least 1 to be successful, and ideally you’ll have both. There’s a reason why many of the “big” affiliates use UBD, and there’s a reason why all their sites look cookie cutter… they’re riding the trend of marketing that UBD created (and that they themselves helped create in the process). Why are there so many MMO blogs? Riding a trend… The last thing you want to do is go to UBD and tell them “give me something that no one else has”… you want what everyone else has until the trend ends. Your website theme is NOT the way you differentiate yourself in the MMO industry. It doesn’t matter if you buy what shoemoney is saying or not. He’s a credible source within the industry as far as how *most* ordinary people perceive him.
So why do I tell Harrison to go to UBD??? To ride a marketing trend, and get his portion of the pie for the MMO blog industry. If you want to be credible within the MMO industry, you ride the trends that your peers are doing, and then you differentiate with your CONTENT. That’s why the designs aren’t unique, they don’t need to be, and quite honestly, shouldn’t be.
Next time, please try to read my post before you respond with a comment that has nothing to do with what I’m talking about.
Comment by Bob Dole — September 4, 2008 @ 10:32 am
Harrison For President! I just wish more Americans were like you, honest and direct. Love your blog!
Comment by Bruno — September 4, 2008 @ 11:53 am
I wish I could find just one good step by step informative site/blog on how to do affiliate marketing. All I ever find is self promotion, bragging, preaching to the choir, teasers, snippets, and e-Book pimping sites. If someone knows of a really good informative website that spells it out in detail in leman terms please share that with us noobs. I am so sick of these Shoemoney, Chow, Rich Jerk clown type of sites that give you mostly ‘look at me’ garbage.
Comment by noob — September 4, 2008 @ 7:09 pm
Hi!
Comment by eric — October 20, 2008 @ 4:02 am
thanx!
Comment by robin — October 20, 2008 @ 4:02 am
Hey dude, really cool article
Comment by Outlety — December 3, 2008 @ 2:00 pm
Admin, this is so true and kind of sad because clients will come and go through the revolving door. The scripted comebacks when the client starts questioning you made me laugh because you are telling the truth!
Comment by Dreams — December 9, 2008 @ 12:27 am
Hey Friend,
I can has SEO consultant client?
Good Luck Bro!
Amit.
Comment by John Wineman — May 21, 2009 @ 11:08 pm
Good points, 100% TRUE, I’ve seen it happen more than once.
Comment by Jdog — May 21, 2009 @ 11:25 pm
so funny and so true. i hear stories about SEO’s (real ones) who get scam emails all the time (i get them too) and they ask them what they do. they go on and on about 3-way linking and meta keywords lol
there are a lot of haters here that leave comments. right on, means you’re doing something right
Comment by danielle — May 21, 2009 @ 11:31 pm